Real Talk By: El Padrino

Horribly directed, written with no sense of care for the characters and the plot, but who cares! A spoiler alert is in effect The Expendables 2 was not made to be taken seriously, it was made for all movie buffs of the 80’s and 90’s to just enjoy it’s over the top actions scenes and star actors that we enjoyed watching as youngsters, personally speaking. The Expendables 2 offers more over the top set pieces filled with explosions and gunfight. And finds a perfect way to give new and old characters their own moment to shine and inflict pain to all foreign enemies alike. And yes I’m thankful they moved away from the Cliche cartel villains and went and bothered Asia and Europe and all its evil military. Biased and proud of it and of course latino pride at its best.

We have four upgrades to the sequels roster of hollywood stars of the past in Bruce Willis, Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude van Damme and freaking Chuck Norris! The next movie if it finds a way to the screen should be titled The Real Dream Team. The biggest standout performance was Van Damme hands down. He stole the show from beginning to end. I never thought I would have an opportunity to say Van Damme out acting a whole crew, what! And the man can still inflict pain with his famous high kick too.

A major reason this movie did not meet my personal expectations is the character they wrote for Chuck Norris. We all know Chuck Norris for the martial arts master that he is. I mean the guy fought Bruce Lee for crying out loud. Instead of giving him his own scene where he could have gone up against Van Damme in a great hand to hand fight they just gave him another huge gun with a bunch of bad guys falling left and right in the background. Blown opportunity. I really believe they missed the opportunity to give the fans what they wanted with this cast that might never be brought back again.

Just think about it Van Damme vs Norris, Stallone vs Arnold, even Bruce Willis vs Jason Statham. And then last but not least have an amazing fight between Jet Lee and the guy from the Undisputed movies. I was flipping out when I saw him in this movie thinking he was going to show of his skills. Missed opportunities. I hate to drag this point but I nominate Robert Rodriguez or Tarantino to make the third film with these guys in an action exploitation film. It would be marvelous.

Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed The Expendables 2 I really did. But I believe Stallone should have stayed true to his original concept and directed the sequel also. The first Expendables felt like an all around quality movie that emphasized action and plot to keep a great balance as cheesy and predictable as the first was it came more sincere and natural. The sequel pimp slapped the thought process of making a movie and just painted scenarios with explosions for the actors to yield a gun with.

The Expendables 2 Gets

Out of five

What’s Legit?

+Van Damme
+Chuck Norris punch line
+Botox and Dental whitening

What’s Perpetrating?

-Chuck Norris not used correctly
-Mis-matched character/ star opponents

Follow me @Mbvalen