Real Talk By: Ms. Throwback
Many video games have the same boring ending. The princess gets captured, you play the hero, she’s saved, all is well in the kingdom. It might be boring but at least you can follow it. Some endings are well, just strange. So strange that we can’t even figure out what exactly is going on. I’m about to tell you game endings so if you hadn’t figured it out yet, Spoiler Alert!
5. Conker’s Bad Fur Day (N64)
Many of you may remember this title very well, but not so much the ending. This game was filled with strange and unusual occurrences. It displays itself as a child’s game but clearly is anything but for children. Conker the squirrel takes on many bizarre bosses while cursing his way through the plot line. The last boss, however, freezes conker mid-scene and he starts talking to the developers of the game about how bad the game glitches. He goes from fighting space aliens to being in an empty matrix-like room with a whole other set of weapons than he started with. I’m not really sure how the game was supposed to end but it was surely odd.
4. Zelda (Cd-i)
It was supposed to be another simple princess abduction. Instead, this one ends with Link trapped in a mirror which the queen breaks on the floor after making fun of what an idiot Link is. The mirror shatters and Link busts out asking, “what happened?” Everyone claims they don’t know and there is laughter over a feast. Link doesn’t know what’s going on, and neither do we.
3. Silent Hill 2 (PS2)
Silent Hill has always been a more serious and scary series of games. The typical ending for this title matches the genre quite well but there is an alternate ending available that boggles the mind. If you find a doghouse with a key it will open a door where a Shiba Inu dog is manning the controls of the environment. They are suggesting that the game is the creation of a dog with some sinister idea to torture the main character. The end title screen then zooms in on the dog’s head and plays some silly music. I can’t imagine how you’d feel if this was the ending you got and you didn’t realize it was an alternate.
2. Conduit 2 (Wii)
I’m not sure many people played this game but they should, simply for the ending. Somehow a planet-sized laser is set off and shoots through the far reaches of space. When it lands on a planet on the other side, presidents George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln emerge to save the planet with a Batman theme playing in the background. That is all. That is simply all.
1. Super Mario Sunshine (GCN)
The world has a love, hate relationship with Super Mario Sunshine but there is no doubt it has one of the most insane endings to a Mario game out there. Mario saves the princess and then Bowser starts talking? Yes, a voice actor who sounds like he’s from a Saturday morning cartoon starts talking as Bowser and has to break the news to Bowser Jr. that Princess Peach isn’t his real mom. Then Mario’s water gun dies a horrible death as it breathes its last breath? Everyone hated the water gun so at least that part was on point.