Gremlik here! Still not home.  Beer Can Billy put Pokémon Go on my flip phone, and I still haven’t figured out how to get it off.  Thing is the abyss won’t let you enter if you’re being tracked #Conspiracy.  We don’t want the CIA to know where the abyss is.  I have prized bootlegs of Family Matters seasons 1 through 4, I’d hate to do hard time for that again.  Prison food sucks.  I did enjoy the various clothing options though.  And Goober, stop telling people I’m a Pokémon! Sometimes you want to have a Roach Sandwich in-peace without someone snapping a picture.  July stuff go.

“Hanna Barbaric” Pack Announced for Injustice 2

Priced at a snug $59.99, this package Includes Scooby/Shaggy, Hong Kong Phooey, Space Ghost, Brak and Jabberjaw.  Fun fact, Atom Ant has been a playable character since the first game.  Players can find him easily by holding a microscope towards their television sets.  Give it a shot, and grab an extra controller.

Gremlik Reviews Surge

We use it as mouthwash over here.  Why drink just one? Consume at least 3 a day.  Kids love Surge, give them this nutritious soda.

6.9 out of 7 Snots

Q*Bert Movie Announced

Historical accuracy blends with historical classicsy.  The story takes place in ancient Egypt.  Q*Bert (Gilbert Gottfried) has to free his people trapped inside the pyramid.  Prince Qbert must rescue his followers, while avoiding the Snake Army led by Coily (Taylor Swift). “I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of this movie, it will win Oscars, and I’m telling the truth.  It’s a fact.” -T Swift.  Director Paul Feig made high claims as well. “I’m gonna wipe the bad taste Gods of Egypt left in your mouth, and put Q*Bert in it.”  Expect this Gaming Legend’s solo outing in 2018 Q5.  A trilogy is already in the works.

Gremlik Reviews Fitbit

Unless there’s a sale on Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper Season 3, I try my best not to move around.  There should really be a disclaimer that says this device is for your wrist.

3.5 out 7 Snots

Ad: Grab “Teddy Ruxpin Reloaded”.  Still plays tapes exclusively, but has Uncensored Trap Music pre-installed for the modern family.

DJ Hero Review

I couldn’t do a thing with this.  It wouldn’t let me.  They don’t make stuff as durable anymore.  Before, I could place my condiments down with ease.  Does anybody have another Lazy Susan recommendation? DJ Hero is a no go.

1 out of 7 Snots

Ranking The Best Pokémon GO Characters

Rocket Scientist Dr. Knot Suave has put together his list of the highest ranked Pokémon GO characters. Here are your winners:

• Abra
• Air Bud
• Bellsprout
• Charmander
• Clefairy
• Cubone
• Diglett
• Doduo
• Dratini
• Eevee
• Electabuzz
• Gastly
• Gremlik
• Growlithe
• Geodude
• Hitmonchan
• Hitmonlee
• Jigglypuff
• Jynx
• Krabby
• Machop
• Magmar
• Magikarp
• Magnamite
• Mankey
• Nidoran♀
• Nidoran♂
• Oddish
• Onix
• Pikachu
• Raven Symone
• Rhyhorn
• Pinser
• Ponyta
• Sandshrew
• Scyther
• Seel
• Shellder
• Slowpoke
• Squirtle
• Tangela
• Tauros
• Voltorb
• Vulpix

Again, I’m not a Pokémon! Who made this list? Someone’s getting bit.

#StopHavingFun @PlayLegit

Trolled by: Vex and KJ