8-Bit Troll

8-Bit Troll: Stage 13 “Views From 1984”

Gremlik here, keeping it short and sweet.  Busy preparing for my bi-yearly E3 trip.  I’m the reason Nintendo stopped showing up.  Hopefully Reggie doesn’t run from me this time.  I only bit him because I misunderstood what he meant saying: “My body is ready”.  Got to watch what you say.  Life is literal.  May-Stuff Go!

Tetris The Movie Details

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The 1984 classic Tetris has always been one of gaming’s golden eggs.  Now, the series stacks higher than ever.  In life you have to make connections.  What better way to get this done than on the silver screen.  This will be gaming’s version of crash.  Different stories will all intertwine gracefully, with a cast that only rivals Soul Plane’s.  A star-studded and sexy ensemble.  Each Tetris piece represents a character.  Will Smith (Cube), Gérard Depardieu (Sircull), Rob Schneider (O-Block), Meryl Streep (cylindro), Dwayne Johnson (RockHard), and Djimon Honsou (Wrecktango) have all signed-on.  Tango is tired of the same shapes.  Bland colors and unappealing designs littering the world’s well.  He wants change.  If it has to happen by force, then so be it.  Smith’s character Cube must prevent Wreck’s unbalance and bring peace to the graph-matrix.

Dark Souls For Everyone

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Dark Souls III “Fun Hearts” DLC is accessible to everyone.  Conflicts will be resolved through witty dialogue and sunshine. “Gamers always have something to prove” says Will Dipp of NB Games, “If you game together you can grow together.  Let’s talk it out.  Competition is ruining the industry, and marriages.  Let’s make a change. ” The multiplayer component will allow up to 6 players to perform group hugs, and other care free activities.”  The Banjo and Tree level pack comes free to those who buy Dark Souls III by 8/7/22.

Gremlik’s Screenshot Comparisons

I happen to own all 4 gaming systems.  Be it by theft or fear.  So I was watching my favorite series “The Player” (Looking forward to season 2) and just had to make a screenshot comparison.  You know, since that’s what the kids like.  While it looks breathtakingly stellar on each system, the clear-cut winner stands out among the rest.  Take a look.

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It actually embarrasses the other three.  I’ve been looking at it for a good 40 minutes, you should do the same.

Gremlik Reviews “Overwatch”

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The game has too many characters and no Troll representation at all.  It’s 2016 for crying out loud! Many from my culture have succeeded in the industry.  Shrek, Paula Deen.  Where’s the love in Overwatch? Tracer can get it though.

1 Snot out of 7

Gremlik Reviews “Views From The 6”

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Picked up Drake’s Views today.  Honestly as a soundtrack to Uncharted 4, it’s a bit disappointing.  However, “Hotline Bling” is decent background chatter as I make my realm-famous Bologna Tacos.  The song “Grammys” featuring Desiigneer, could’ve used a less-repetitive hook.  Thought my Tape player was skipping at first.  I’am accustomed to the quality of Sega Saturn’s Daytona USA.  Maybe Naughty Dog could have a meeting with those chaps for Uncharted 5.  Why is he stuck on top of that building anyways? Nathan Drake should be able to climb down with ease.  So much crying in this album, no exploration.  Humbug!

3.3 Snots out of 7

Stop Having Fun! Show’s over.

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Trolled By Vex and KJ
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