Gremlik here.  New Year’s was better than expected.  I payed-back Goober in-full for that Magic Mike prank.  Not only did i spoil the events of Star Wars Episode 7, i gave him a black eye for his troubles.  Now here’s January’s…Whatever… You put a title to it…

Street Fighter V Gets Super Fantastic

Renowned director Josh Trank is expected to oversee SFV’s cinematic mode coming in summer 2016.  Once again he pulls a Rabbit out of his glasses, giving us the same magic he blessed Fantastic 4 with.  Trank builds this story not around fighting, but the competitors themselves.  In-game battles are one round, with a fixed 10-second time limit.  Move-lists will be inaccessible, building the tension in each fight.  It’s not the punch, it’s the punchline that hits home.  Story, story, story.

 There’s No Rift Up In Here

An Oculus Rift-Rep explains the $599 price tag. “We wanted to come up with a pricing that was not only affordable for players with huge bank accounts (we love you guys), we wanted it to appeal to the lower class as well.  When they see that this peripheral is worth a pretty penny, that’s exactly what they’ll spend.  Respect from both sides of the coin, or in any dimension”.

AD: Tire Changer Tycoon 2016

“Taking Care of Business.”

Simultaneously Mash on your keyboard with one hand, while rotating your mouse in a speedy circular motion.  Windows 95 compatible!

Gremlik Reviews Adele’s New Album “25”

Though i enjoy drinking the blood of my enemies, i still indulge in the occasional cry.  Thankfully Target had my favorite Red Wine/Ben and Jerry’s combo fully stocked.  This would enhance my purchase of Adele’s new album.  At first i didn’t want to listen, because it wasn’t available on cassette, but upon hearing her sultry voice, she had me at hello.  I can’t stand the lights, so my favorite tune is track 8 “Love in The Dark”.  This made me feel like I was two centuries old again.

There’s not enough snots to give.  Adele’s 25 has me all congested.

Purchase this now, or else!

Love Lump

This is a monthly subscription service that has Loot Crate, Booty Bin, and even Nerd Block on the run.  Corporation “Velvet Knuckles” is giving fans another outlet.  They have teamed with developers of AAA games, and various famous people.  Studio representatives will send something epically-awesome and exclusive to the individual every month.

A famous designer may or may not send you an autographed photo.  The suspense is real and it’s welcomed.  The full-time security guards in the building could even send you a fresh stick of chewing gum.  “I love Rockstar Games”, says Gill Payton from New Jersey. “These magnificent individuals sent me the classic Grand Theft Auto on PlayStation and a white sock.  I’m hoping to get the other matching one next month.”  The lump can drop on any one.  Play Legit’s Sweet Hec G received a bag of Ginger Root from Questlove himself.  Fall in love for only $79.99 a month.

The Bronze Bucket Awards

Gremlik again, (they don’t pay me enough for this) I have listed my besties in 2015.  The following is stuff i might not have loved, but didn’t piss me off nearly as much as the other titles.  Fallout 4? That game is broken booty!

Best Graphics: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5

Best Multiplayer Game: Mario Party 10

Best Movie to Watch on Netflix While Trying to Fall Asleep: Pixels

Best Soundtrack: MX vs. ATV Supercross Encore

Best Hair: Gremlik

Best Actor: Those guys who played John Locke in Halo 5: Guardians

Best Actress: Julia Roberts

Game of The Year: The Order 1886.

Because it’s easy, fast, and pretty.  Well honestly, I flipped a coin between that and The Witcher 3.

Good day! Stop Having Fun!

Trolled By Vex and KJ