I’m Gremlik! The 8-Bit Troll you need to know.  Give me your Netflix password.  It gets boring in the abyss.  I’m a documentary kind of lad, so help me finish watching Cocaine Cowboys.  Well, here is the scoop-stuff for the month of September I found laying in the food court.

Spartan Locke Reloads

Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun Li actor and avid gamer Chris Klein is locked-in by a reliable source.  His voice will be replacing Mike Colter’s as Agent Locke in the upcoming Halo 5 Guardians.  In a statement released by The American Pie vet he states: “I love gaming, you know what I can do. Let’s do this together.  I’m going to find you Chief. Me and the Xbox Nation. I’ll be wearing A fully-loaded Spartan Suit at every voice recording session.  Guardians is in good hands.”

 Necromancer Sequel Announced

In this direct sequel to the 1983 Commodore 64 classic, play as Illuminar The Wizard.  Interact with the fallen. The goal is resurrect departed celebrities.  Team up with the rich and famous, battle Tetragorn the Necromancer.  This all-star cast includes George Washington, Amanda Bynes, Tiger Woods, Hulk Hogan, and even Meek Mill.  Necromancer 2 will still have the visuals of the original, keeping the series trendy with hipsters.

Advertisement: Download The “REboOt” App Today

Hoople, North Dakota – September 29th, 2015 – Why go back in-time, when you can bring back in-time to now.  Nostalgia’s overrated. You can feel it, but why not experience it? Make the past palpable.  For $11.99 relive better than you did then.  Whether it’s Reboots or Reruns, this app has your back.  Enjoy a wide variety of classic un-skippable advertisements, limited parental control options, and a service that only requires 5 minutes to connect.  Fully-Compatible with 56K connections (Broadband coming soon).  REboOt Max, it’s “Your Move”.

NBA 2K16’s Got Game

Just In the nick of time, this special Spike Lee Demo offer is exclusive to those who have yet to buy NBA 2K16.  Hoopsters will have the opportunity to experience the experience.  Participate in Knicks vs Knicks games at Madison Square Garden under grueling weather conditions.  Enjoy this thrilling taste of athleticism in Spike Lee’s signature “Black and White” Movie Hue.

Gremlik’s Review of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5

Spend the full $59.99, this is one polished game.  I give it 5 Snots out of 6.

Heavy Rain Spinoff Announced

Introducing “Light Drizzle” coming for PlayStation 3 in the fall of 2016.  Play as Snoop and his Dogg Pound Homies, solving mysteries in Long Beach California.  The D-O Double G is expected to interact with Heavy Rain’s Agent Jayden.  Combining their respective skills, they must apprehend the countrywide terror that has found itself in the LBC. The “Paper Mache Player” is on the loose.  This suspect wraps his victim’s belongings in glue and wholesale toilet paper.

Watch Dogs Racing Coming to Consoles x Tablets in 2017

Many have tried and failed to reach the apex of vehicular control.  With Watch Dogs Racing Ubisoft is changing the game. Relatives of Forza and Gran Turismo developers have signed onto this project.  Power ups will be displayed on the track like Mario Kart.  Revolutionary Dual Screen control maximizes the fun 100 percent.  Use your tablet to control the City’s operating systems, sabotaging the other racers, while seeing an overview of the track.  In conjunction, use the controller to drive your car, feeling the magnificent feedback of the road.  This mandatory control set up is initiated by having a UPlay account.  Ubisoft has laid the foundation for a new genre known as “Cablet Gaming”.  Consoles and Tablets together as one living-breathing entity.

I’m Through Here! Stop Having Fun.

Trolled by: Vex and KJ