8-Bit Troll: Stage 4 “E3 Bonus Area”


Out of the Abyss, I’m Gremlik! The 8-Bit Troll you need to know. I don’t like the heat. Summer Sucks. Barf! Here is the info for E3 2015 and news things.

Microsoft and Sony Big Game Announcements


Gears of War: Pendulum Tales was confirmed as an XO exclusive. Takes place entirely in your cell. No load times, Locust, Lambent, or crazy weapons. “We’re siphoning Gears back down to its core.” Said a rep from the game studio. Talk about locust. Discuss and reflect. Learn more info. The story is expected to have all sorts of twists and turns, as the scribes of Prison Break have signed onto this project. Perform push ups, and pull ups in exciting “Test Your Might” style activities. This takes place all in confines of your 5 by 8 cell. Jacinto Maximum Security Prison won’t know what hit it.


God of War spin-off: Tree of Woe Stars famous Titan “Gaia”.  Match the proper quick time events so that her narration is synched with the mythology of the series. Flip through the spartan’s legacy, in what can be deemed as the first storybook experience on PS4. You can only scroll so much, before your knowledge is put to the test. Venture through the legacy of Kratos via text, through the magic of the PS4 touchpad. Who needs pictures, when 1000 words aren’t even enough? No release date was given due the massive amount of dialogue still being written.

 The Wizard II Announced for a 2016 Release

The Wizard 2 Fred Savage

Nintendo isn’t having a traditional E3 Presentation, but they informed us that Cinema is big on their minds. Fred savage reprises his role as Corey Woods. He is now a manager at a struggling local mom and pop store “The Game-link”. Woods will serve as a mentor/father figure to Justin Bieber’s character “Spark Sherman”. Could we see a new Wizard emerge from the latest Nintendo Tournament? Can Woods and friends stay in business?

Konami Moves Upplaylegit8bitroll

From Slot Machines, to Video Games, Konami keeps its fan base busy. They plan on re-locating their entire company into outer space. There is nothing more inspirational than being engulfed in the elements which you’re trying to create. Though details are scarce, Konami has been rumored to be working on a mobile slot machine app titled: “Moon Money”. Kojima and Konami’s plans weren’t necessarily aligned, as he opted out of the space program.

Kojima in Concert


Hideo Kojima is pursuing a rap career. He is set to perform live at this year’s E3 Expo his two singles “Silent/Trill” and “Zone of the Spenders” featuring Rick Ross. Not to be labeled an opportunist, he wants to pursuit his passion. Hideo is dropping a Mixtape: “Though I Make Games, It’s Not a Game” Hosted By DJ Drama. It’s unfortunate that Kojima and Konami had to part ways. We’re happy they are both reaching for the sky.

AD: Suge Knight Boss DLC Coming To Shovel Knight


Track & Field Returns To Consoles

track and field
Actual Gameplay Photo.

T&F Takeover was announced for all current gen systems. This new entry in the series will feature challenges of skill, with modernized graphics and online play to boot. But the biggest news is its roster. Play as legendary runners such as Usian Bolt, Roger Bannister, Michael Johnson, Bruce Jenner and Floyd Mayweather.

Newest studio set to take the industry by force

Ex-Members of Infamous titles such as: ET (Atari), Drake of The 99 Dragons (Xbox, PC), Charlie’s Angels (GCN), and Brink (PC), Have joined forces to form: “Middle-Finger Interactive”. The newest game studio is set to debut at this year’s E3. “It’s no doubt to the people, that we deserve a second chance. We want to bring the buster back to blockbuster. For those who didn’t buy our games, or support us on release day, our company logo is for you. ” -MFI CEO, Will B. Crook.

We’ve been told They’re experimenting with a Free-to-play game. It is the official spiritual-successor to Call of Duty. MFI provides you with an aw-inspiring war experience: Duty’s Call: The War within. A cloud based recording engine will track your play style, and turn it against you. Never has playing with yourself been so deadly. A new ghost unlocks upon completion of the 2 hour action-packed campaign. You can store up to 87 ghosts. “The Multiplayer brings a deeper significance to the title as players are forced to soul search upon encountering their play styles. Treat others like a douche, only to have it done to you in return.”  Every additional A.I. download is set at an affordable $1.99.

Back to the abyss for me. I’m leaving. Stop having fun.

geralt_witcher_3Trolled By: Vex, KJ, J. Valdez, and T42.

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