Out of the Abyss, I’m Gremlik! The 8-Bit Troll you need to know. Here is the scoop for March. I guess. Such a stupid month.

New Pre-Pre-order DX Deal

Big corporations always consider the economy’s current state. Fact. With that being said, your favorite publishers have teamed up with retailers to lift the burden of pre-ordering, and afford gamers the opportunity to pre-order a pre-order at a $2.50 pricing.  “We are pleased to give gamers the opportunity to better budget their needs. In the wake of anticipated high-demand, their will be no-refunds on any pre-pre-orders regardless of the circumstance.”  Said a spokesman from FYGYM Co.

Dr. Mario Amiibos At Walgreens and CVS. The Aftermath.

Pharmaceutical companies are outraged that consumers can now obtain discounts on their prescriptions, upon purchasing a Dr. Mario Amiibo. But this didn’t transpire without a little controversy. “It’s not fair to us, and it’s not fair to the people” says Doug Dreeler of the FDA. As you would expect the Amiibo maker does not share the same ideals. “Dr. Mario has always been about helping people, and removing viruses from their systems. We just wanted to give people a 1-up against big corporations.” Says a rep from The Big N.

Ad: Hitman: Agent 47 New Trailer

Free DragonBall Xenoverse DLC

Bandai Namco announced that the “Birdman Pack” is being added to Dragonball Xenoverse for free. His move-sets will be grapple-heavy, with a kiss of death finisher. He is expected to film two music video tie-ins to the games soon. Be on the look out for Birdman’s “DragonBallin” and “Piccolo Dough” ft. Young Thug.

New Halo Spin-off series coming to Netflix

Microsoft’s spokesman Ash Holl says that the series will be only available with a Netflix subscription that is connected to an Xbox Live account. The launching of this series titled “Hey-bro”, has been developed based on the 100% positive fan feedback from the Halo 5 Guardians Beta. Step aside Marvel, this is going to be Netflix’s most ambitious series. This Halo-Spinoff will be filmed all over the world to serve as a backdrop to the Spartan’s many trials, victories, t-bags, and drama. Writers from The Sopranos, Ally Mcbeal, Small Wonder, Webster, and Saved by the bell Have been rumored to be working on the first season. Ken Jeong has been confirmed to play Sergent Johnson.

 I Was There: A Point-and Click Adventure Game Announced

This retro inspired PC adventure starring Bryan Williams takes you to the mysterious land of StoryBook Isle. Fret not if you’ve finished the campaign, for $24.99 “MyHISTORY” is available. You can develop your own adventures in journalism. Users can upload their custom stories. Submit your idea by July 7th, 2016 and you could be hired by the NBC News Group.

A Match Made In 1886

With the success of the TitanFall Branded Drink, the makers of 5-Hour Energy have decided to take another swig at the gaming audience.  To celebrate The Order 1886, consumers can now enjoy: The 5-Hour Order Drink. It will come in two Varieties. “Lycan Lemon” and “Widescreen Watermelon”. This the perfect combination. Begin the campaign, take a full shot of either delicious flavor. Enjoy as both synchronized forms of excitement will begin and end within the 5-Hour bracket.

Back to the abyss! I really should’ve stayed in the cave this month. Anyways, Stop having fun.

#8BitTroll @PlayLegit

Written by: Vexamillion, KJ, and J.Valdez