Dishonored (Pissed Off) Review

Real Talk By: Vex

When I got my first glimpse of Dishonored, had to stop and think for a moment. This was the birth of the grown me. The footage witnessed, was enough to send my hype level thru the roof. I somehow managed to keep my cool remembering a lesson learned from Brink. So as the months passed by, and my eyes continued to view new footage, the fight was becoming more difficult. Needless to say, I was really impressed and went as far as thinking I was wrong about not allowing myself to get lost in excitement. But one word kept coming to mind as I spiraled into a place no man should have the burden of traversing…Bethesda.

Phase One: Relief and Excitement

Upon placing the disc inside my xbox, I was compelled by fear. A fear not felt since my mom forgot to pick me up at the bus stop. I was six years old in New York mind you, didn’t know English so everybody sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. But anyway, I was hoping the graphics looked as good as the videos, and that it didn’t end up looking like a Van Gogh painting, much like Brink did. To my relief the graphics where top-notch and complimented by a sick looking art style. As you progress thru the game the set pieces will make you wish more developers took this kind of approach to setting up the vistas. Fishing thru the first level,  just knew this was going to be a classic. I was a kid again.

Phase Two: Confusion and Anger

I was a couple of hours deep into the game lost in a world that had some flaws but overall had me immersed. I was experimenting with the different approaches to the game play. The level design gives you a multitude of options, something more developers should learn. Game play wise the game borrows from some of my favorite games and implements enough of its own ideas to give it its own feel. You can either go stealth all the way or murder everything in sight, each variation having different results on up-coming missions. Upon accepting to do a side mission for a certain ally is when the confusion began, I was asked  to retrieve a missing person. Simple enough I though, but after I completed my task and found the person I was not allowed to leave the house I was in. It was not that the game wouldn’t allow me to leave, it’s the fact that my xbox would freeze. I did the mission over a million times trying to leave the house from different doors, going stealth, going Ted Bundy and finally ended up having to restart over completely.

Phase Three: Apathy and Wisdom

I played the rest of the game much like Dr. Manhattan thinks, “I’m here, this sucks, I want to leave”. The game continued to visually impress but it’s mechanical flaws reared their ugly mug. There were points in the game when I would be right in front of an enemy and he couldn’t see me. What makes it worse is when I would be forty feet high, and then get spotted. I played the game on the hard setting and still found it extremely easy to beat. The abilities you can unlock make you extremely over powered. The enemy AI is among the dumbest I have encountered, even dumber than the ones on Resistance 3. Story wise the game is decent but the way it’s presented via audio logs or excessive reading make it to much of a task. P.S I am here to play a video game not read a book. But it was not all bad folks because I had actually learned allot during this dark path of disappointments, a group of lessons that will be tattooed on my soul for an eternity.

I should have known better after playing Brink that anything Bethesda publishes is not going to be held to a high standard of quality, I love Skyrim but even it was full of glitches. Arkane Studios seemed to have spent more money on vid-doc’s  trying to sell the game instead of quality assurance. But Vex your being too hard on them…stfu. These are sixty dollar games people and it seems we are subjected to accept games that should be considered betas. The re-play value in this title is little to none in my opinion. I don’t expect it to have multi player but at least a form of competitive leader boards. Who dropped the ball here Bethesda or Arkane? Where they rushed to avoid going up against the titans this November? If that was the case why not wait till late Jan or Feb and polish the game till it’s a classic. This game had the potential to be just that… A  classic but someone  f$#$%d that up. I will give this game an award tho. I’m proud to announce that Dishonored is the proud first recipient of the Middle Finga Award . This award goes to games who have managed to magically deceive you into thinking that their game was Da shizznit but ended up being s#!7.

   Dishonored Gets 


Out of five

What’s Legit? 

+The art style graphics and set pieces combine to make this a stunning looker.

+That I won’t have to play it again.

What’s Perpetrating?

-Game play glitches

-Dumb A.I.

-Too short

Follow me @Vexamillion_TLR

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